Friday, October 13, 2006

Wild horses

School started on October 2.

Number of hours assigned to teach per week: 10
Number of hours taught so far: 6

I spent the week previous worrying about procuring a schedule, a syllabus, a class list, and whatever else I assumed was necessary to embark on a year of teaching fertile young minds. Simultaneously, I was told by no less than three teachers, a librarian, and a Ministry of Education official to relax, sometimes in all seriousness and occasionally with a chuckle at my silly American ways. After having spoken with other teachers from around the country, who all told me that most of their administration and teachers hadn't even returned from vacation, I decided to take the advice and go to the school on the 2nd like everyone else.

On Monday I stepped into the hallowed halls (note: there are no actual hallways; the school consists of single concrete rooms in a sandy compound) of my place of employment, invigorated by my noble charge and the fact that literally hundreds of people were staring at me and whispering to each other. I walked purposefully to the opposite end of the school, where administrative offices hid behind some of the only foliage on the premises, and maneuvered my way through the crowd of teachers receiving their schedules. Head held high, I entered the office of the school director, prepared to make an assertive, lasting, and above all, good, impression on him. Before I had introduced myself, I was berated in front of a room full of people for failing to appear the previous week. I was then thrown a schedule, told that because I neglected to show up the week before I had no say in it (this was bullshit; I was sitting in view of a veritable swarm of teachers creating their schedules at that very moment), and finally, asked my name.

Filled with the white hot rage of 10,000 horny stallions (I use this image not because I was sexually aroused, but because you do not stand in the path of even one horny stallion, lest you suffer unspeakable consequences), I left the compound, informed that classes would not start until next - this - week. As I stood there trying to find an appropriate channel for the black anger of humiliation coursing through my veins, I alternately considered choking the kid whispering and giggling behind me (Nathanael West - The Day of the Locust) and kicking a donkey in the face. I settled on going to the internet cafe, where I practiced godlike restraint and refrained from posting.

Over the ensuing weekend I was heartened by the soon-finished veteran volunteer here, who told me that intimidation is the director's modus operandi, and that I simply shouldn't take it too seriously. I prepared for my upcoming classes with a lighter heart and the resolution to restrict all interaction with the man in charge to a bare minimum.



With no classes Monday (buckets!), I returned to school on Tuesday, went directly to my classes, and taught the shit out of those kids. I did the same on Wednesday and Thursday morning. At this point I'd like to direct your attention to the three hour break in the afternoon. I returned at 3:00 on Thursday, ready to introduce myself to my new 4th year class, only to find the school utterly deserted, except for the disciplinarian. He informed me, laughing, thank Christ, that there is no break. I informed him that admin failed to tell me, and thanked him for the clarification. Guess I'll see you next week kids; thank your director for yet another unnecessary hiccup in the chronic indigestion that is your desperately-needed education. I woke up bright and early Friday morning, ready to end the week with a bang, only to find upon my arrival that I was double-booked with physics, and physics always wins.

I popped into the Directeur des Etudes' (scheduling) office to let her know that there was a conflict; she said thanks and that she'd let me know how it will be resolved. My week's work abruptly finished (buckets!), I beelined for the exit. Standing next to the gates, of course, was the school director. I braced myself for all the fun of accidentally getting locked in a dryer. I said hi. He berated me once again, this time for not checking in with him every morning - no one does this - and I smiled and left my sunglasses on, thinking three things: 1) ain't gonna happen, guy, 2) we're probably going to come to blows before the end of the trimester, and 3) at least I'll have some content for the blog. When his tirade was finished he calmly asked if I had class now, and I, disarmed by his sudden change in demeanor, stupidly told him about my overlapping with physics. He told me to follow him, and I watched in awe as he treated teacher and student alike with a stunning condescension, yelling at everyone within sight to get somewhere, anywhere. Before I could let him know that I had told the appropriate parties of my situation, he had his leg calf-deep in the Directeur des Etudes' ass. Thus I sat in her office while she frantically shuffled through papers looking for information she didn't have, apologized no less than ten times, and left.

In the end I have discovered that, except for perhaps Nouakchott, no other teachers in the country have received their schedules, let alone started teaching. Due to Ramadan, my classes are a mere fraction of their actual size, but at least they've commenced. I reluctantly and grudgingly give it to the director for taking things a bit more seriously than the rest of the system. This does not excuse him in my mind from acting, like almost every single person with a modicum of authority here, like a total prick, but it does chalk up a point on his behalf. And for the record, it took four total rewrites of this entry to drain the cynicism down to a palatable level. My foray into the Mauritanian professional community has been eye-opening, to say the least.

In other news, I have discovered that there is a gecko living in my room. I'm fielding suggestions for a name.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You could name the gecko Omar. Don't know why I think it fits but it does. I am sure someone will have a more imaginative suggestion.
Director of the school sounds like a, well, you know what best fits. The only consolation for being yelled at and humiliated in public is that it had probably already happened to everyone in the room with you. It immediately identifies you as one of them and not just the new American. On the other hand they could all have been giggling behind their respective hands thanking Allah it was not their turn to be screamed at.
We are still in Des Moines, but going ome tomorrow. I have had a ball seeing Lindi, Steve, Cale and Lantz. I did not see Sarah as yet. We are having dinner with Steve and Lindi again tonight. Cale is a special ed and social studies teacher. Lantz is a computer whiz with Motorola. Sarah is also a teacher. She has a husband and two children.
I had a snack with Carolyn Strickler too. She and her husband Larry are well. David is going to chiropracter school. Ben is with Wells Fargo and Nate teaches.
I spent a whole afternoon with Ruth Smith too. It has been a nice visit.
I assume you remember who most of these people are.
I forgot how much the wind blows here. I do not like it.
We will call this week. Bobby is coming to visit Monday. Continue to teach the shit out of your students.
Have you heard of Kiffa beads? They are Mauritanian glass beads. Antique ones are valuable and rare, but new ones are being made. It is a craft that almost died out. I just read an article about them. Take care

Anonymous said...

Check your gmail.

Anonymous said...

The google news alerts for mauritania are full of locust sightings and warnings in NW mauritania. It looked like that was a potential locust which was eating an apple out of your hand. Apparently the trigger for turning a bunch of grasshoppers into a swarm of locusts is the number of times their hind legs get brushed per minute. I learned these fascinating facts from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_locust
Anyway, leave their legs alone and don't encourage them.

Anonymous said...

Mardi 10H - 17H
Mercredi 8H - 12H
La fin.
See you Wednesday nights...

Anonymous said...

i think you should name the gecko aaron...as in neville. nuh huh...

Anonymous said...

I think the geko should be named Carl...or Steve

Lucy Kafanov said...

BBC NEWS
How Borat hoaxed America
By Ian Youngs
Entertainment reporter, BBC News

Spoof Kazakh reporter Borat - aka Ali G comedian Sacha Baron Cohen - is expected to score a box office hit by offending and humiliating real Americans in a new movie.

When a gangly foreign reporter with broken English, bushy moustache and crumpled suit turned up at artist Linda Stein's New York studio, she thought she was helping spread the word about women's rights.

Ms Stein, with two other members of Veteran Feminists of America, agreed to be filmed for what they thought was a documentary to help third world women.

But then the reporter started talking about his wife's farm work ("she pulls the plough"), women walking three steps behind men ("it used to be 10 steps, my country is advancing") and asking how to contact Pamela Anderson.

"I thought I was talking to an uneducated man, maybe from a tribal community," Ms Stein says. "I mean, that's how it seemed to me.

"In our earnestness, we were trying to help women around the world."

Shocking and provocative

Ms Stein is not alone in being duped by Baron Cohen.

The British comedian has perfected his act as the apparently naive reporter whose enthusiastic offensiveness either leaves his interviewees in shock or persuades them to reveal a little too much of their own prejudices.

And the result is set to be one of the year's most popular films.

I'm a New Yorker, all sorts of things happen in New York - I'm not angry
Linda Stein
Artist
Most of Borat's victims were ensnared in a similar way. They would be contacted by a woman calling herself Chelsea Barnard from a fictional film company, One America Productions.

They would be told about the foreign correspondent making a film about life in the US, with the pitch tailored to each person's specialist subject.

Then on the day of the interview, they would be presented with a release form at the last minute, be paid in cash and, finally, Borat would amble in, beginning with some serious subjects before starting his provocative routine.

"We're all primed to do an academic dissertation, we did our homework," says yoga teacher Grace Welch, another member of the three-strong feminist panel.

"And as we're talking, out of the blue, he says: 'Do you know Baywatch?'

"I knew something was going on but I didn't know what it was. I'm looking at the cameramen and everyone was stony-faced. And then he would come out with outrageous things."

Ms Stein first tried to throw Borat out when he started talking about women having smaller brains than men.

The producer persuaded her to carry on, apologetically explaining that Borat did not realise he was saying anything wrong.

But the final straw came when Borat asked the women to lift up their shirts at the end of the interview.

'Mixed feelings'

"I've seen the film and parts of it were hilarious," Ms Stein says. "As an interviewee, I have had a lot of mixed feelings about it.

"I thought about it, I worried about it, and then felt I have to get back to my work. I just have to move on. I'm a New Yorker, all sorts of things happen in New York. I'm not angry."

But the artist, whose sculptures represent "empowerment and strength", wants to ask Baron Cohen why his art "zooms in on human weaknesses and foibles".

She has invited him to her exhibition, which begins on 2 November - the day before the film is released. "He owes me one and he should buy a sculpture."

Washington DC public speaking coach Pat Haggerty also appears - and is seen trying to teach humour to Borat, who talks about having sex with his mother-in-law and keeping his "retard" brother in a cage.

"About halfway through the session we took a break and I went up to one of the producers and said: 'This guy can't be real.

"'If you let me in on the gag, I will help you reach your goals because I don't care if you're from Kazakhstan, nobody is this crazy.'

"But I soldiered on and figured they paid me my money and they deserve an hour of my time and I'm going to be as professional as I can."

To the best of my memory I don't believe I said anything stupid - however, I'm in the movie
Pat Haggerty
Public speaking coach

Mr Haggerty says he is having "a lot of fun" with his new-found fame and hopes it raises his professional profile.

He has not yet seen the film - but hopes he did not say anything he will regret.

"To the best of my memory I don't believe I said anything stupid. However, I'm in the movie. The only downside I see is if I appear to be a fool."

One person who is likely to regret the day he met Borat is Tennessee rodeo manager Bobby Rowe, who is cajoled by the comedian into making disparaging remarks about Muslims and homosexuals.

Movie 'mess'

A phone call to Mr Rowe and an enquiry about whether he is the person in the movie elicits a slow, painful reply: "Yeah, I'm the same one."

But he says he has been stung by his experiences. "I got into this mess by someone calling me and telling me who they was and they weren't," he says.

"And so I don't do any interviews over the dadgum phone any more. This phone rings 10-12 times a day.

"That's what got me into this mess and I don't want to get in any deeper."
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/entertainment/6071486.stm

Published: 2006/10/23 08:43:02 GMT

© BBC MMVI